Photos from Paris

These are just a couple of photos of Pegs & Sofia in the kitchen of Lee & Pegs' apartment in Paris (Dec. 8, 2008). The second one is a little blurry (taken with my cell phone), but I think there's such a sweetness in them.

Something you may not know... about Panagiota's singing voice

I was thinking about the post that Brooke put up the other day, in which Panagiota was talking about getting me a karaoke machine for Christmas so she could watch me squirm as other people attempted to sing. It's not like I have the best singing voice in the world or anything, but there was something to be said about Panagiota's ability to carry a tune. Actually, if you watch this video from Vanessa's wedding reception in Costa Rica, nothing really needs to be said.... Enjoy!

I Remember When...: I first met Panagiota

Paris, July 6, 2005

I wasn't supposed to meet Panagiota when I did. It was in the summer of 2003, and I was supposed to be on my way to France visiting family. But my initial flight was delayed and I missed my connection and had to spend the night in New York. Even then, I was supposed to spend the evening with Lee at his apartment. But Lee had to work late, so it was Pegs who went to Brooklyn to greet me.

Meeting your boyfriend's or girlfriend's family for the first time is pretty much always a nerve-wracking experience. But to meet them for the first time when you're not expecting to? That's scary (and I say this from personal experience: I met my wife's parents at one of her dance performances, and she had forgotten to mention that they'd be there). I can only imagine how nervous Panagiota - a fairly shy person to begin with - must have been when Lee called her at the last minute to ask if she would help me out. Making the situation all the more stressful, I got the one taxi driver in all of New York who had absolutely no idea where anything was. I ended up being well over an hour late, and I didn't have a cell phone to call Lee or Pegs. So poor Pegs was stuck waiting with no clue of what had become of me, probably wondering how she would explain to Lee that his brother was missing somewhere in New York City.

But despite the anxiety of an unexpected family visit and the likely stress and frustration of having to rush to Lee's apartment only to sit there alone for more more than an hour, Pegs was incredibly sweet when I finally arrived (of course, the half-empty bottle of wine I spotted next to her seat on the couch may have helped a bit). She offered me a glass and we spent the rest of the evening on the couch chatting and watching an episode of Sex and the City that she'd started earlier.

To be honest, I'm not sure what exactly we talked about - the only specific moment I can recall is Pegs trying to maintain a normal conversation while being deeply embarrassed by a scene with Kim Cattrall that ... well, let's just say it explicitly illustrated the show's title. What I do remember, though, is really liking Panagiota right from the start and appreciating how generous she was. It may have been a slightly awkward introduction, but from my perspective, at least, it was a great night.

Panagiota Pic: Sofia's first day of school

Moorestown, September 17, 2010

Today's "Panagiota Pic" was taken on Sofia's first day of Montessori last year, which happened to fall on her name day. For those of you not familiar with name days, each saint recognized by the Greek Orthodox Church has a day during the calendar year when s/he is celebrated. Since Greeks tend to recycle their names (I can easily count at least half a dozen "Nicks/Nikis" and the same number of "Panagiotas/Panagiotis" among Pegs' first cousins), almost everyone shares their name with one of these saints. When your saint's name day comes around, you get to celebrate, too.

I suspect that Greeks emphasize names days not only because religion is so deeply integrated into their culture, but also because for a long time Greeks weren't too good with record-keeping. If no one can remember on what day you were born (or even what year), it's kind of tricky to figure out when you should open your presents.  By way of example, for years my father-in-law thought that his birthday was about a month before or after it actually happened (I can't remember which) until someone dug up his baptismal certificate, which showed he was born in April rather than March/May. As you can imagine, the lack of accurate records made celebrating birthdays (and hitting on girls at bars by asking for their sign) really challenging. Thankfully, almost everyone knows their own name, which meant they could rely on the church to tell them when they could pig out on some name-day galopita.

Panagiota's name day is August 15, which is a national holiday in Greece, but not just because she was so awesome. Those of you who studied eastern orthodoxy or have at least five syllables in your last name will know that August 15 is the day of the Assumption, when the Virgin Mary was supposed to have ascended bodily into heaven. It's kind of a big deal: the whole country fasts for two weeks beforehand, and then everyone gets the day off and parties like it's MCMIC. So mark it down on your calendars, and remember to wish Pegs chrona pola next year.

Bonus: I know it's not as much fun as finding out your Jedi name or Wu-Tang Clan name, but if you'd like to know when your Greek name day would be, click on this link. Then be sure to go to a Greek restaurant (or any diner in New Jersey) on that day and ask if you can get a free piece of baklava. Or maybe a sheep's head.

Update/Correction: There are a lot of name days for people named "Panagiota;" Pegs actually celebrated hers on November 21, and not August 15 as I said above. (Classic example of why I should rely on my Outlook calendar and not the Interwebs.) You should still feel free to take off every August 15, though; your boss will completely understand. Also, apparently my father-in-law was only mistaken by a day or so regarding his birthday; in my head (and for purposes of storytelling) it always sounds better when I say that he was off by an entire month.

Photos from Costa Rica

Here are a couple more photos from the trip to Costa Rica. It was such a special week.

Costa Rica, March 30, 2011

Costa Rica, March 31, 2011

I Remember When...: I First Met Pegs

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Translated from the original French, available after the jump:

The first time I met Pegs was in New York in May 2004. Participating in the Erasmus program in Canada for six months, I went to spend ten days in New York with a friend, where Lee and Pegs greeted us like princesses!

I also remember a weekend in Aix en Provence, where Lee and Pegs came to visit me. We spent two super sunny days there, walking the streets of the Old City.

Thank you both for hosting me so many times in Paris when I had interviews, exams, the REM concert, and when Anael and I were passing for the weekend. I have so many memories of Pegs: all of those times we were in the kitchen talking. Pegs, your smile, your kindness, your openness, your welcoming nature and your ready ear made ​​all those moments unforgettable, thank you!

We had the pleasure of seeing you in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding, optimistic and happy, enjoying the family vacation; it was too short, but these moments spent together remain in our memories.

Hard to imagine that we will not see you again, but your courage and that of Lee and Sofia are an example to us all. We are very close to you and embrace you with all our hearts.

Sido and Anaël

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Provence, May 2006

I Remember When...: Greek Night Out

Posted on behalf of Pauline Serfes:

This picture was taken at St. Thomas Greek Orthodox Church in October of 2010.  Panagiota enjoyed her first festival at the church in New Jersey.   We had fun that night.  The girls told me they were having a girls night out!  I was with my husband and my sons and I spent some time with the girls and their table.    I love this picture.  I treasure it.  It is one of the few I have of Panagiota.

Moorestown, October 2010

Thinking of you... Poolside

Despite it being late October, the weather out here in the Bay Area is really nice. It's sunny and about 85ºF - the perfect weather to go to the pool. Thinking about that reminded me of being in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding and hanging out with Panagiota by the pool at the place we rented. Even though she had just finished a round of chemo only a few days earlier, Pegs seemed really happy and relaxed during that trip. How relaxed, you ask? This relaxed:

Costa Rica, March 2011

Thinking of you... In Bondues

Bondues, Christmas 2005

Translated from the original French, available after the jump:

All of the French family remains united more than ever with you, as well as with Lee and Sofia, holding you deep in our hearts as the day we met you for the first time! In the apartment at The Caleches [where Mamie and Bon Papa lived] we found pictures that Lee had given to Bon Papa that immortalized the smile that brightened your face! Patrick and Béatrice

Bondues, Christmas 2005

Bondues, Christmas 2005

Thinking of you... In Wegmans

Hello thought about you today in Wegmans. I saw pretty pink lilies in the flower section and I remember when I came to your house last year and you had bought beautiful lilies and placed them in your kitchen because you told me they made you happy every day looking at them. Filia!

- Pauline Serfes

Carrot Cake Recipe / Email from Susan Smith

An email to Lee from Susan Smith:

Thank you for your invitation to contribute something to the website. I have no stories, videos or pictures, but I do remember that when Panagiota decided to leave BNPP, her culinary abilities became notable. Among many others, I have wonderful memories of her delicious carrot and courgette cakes. All her recipes should be put on the website.

My wish for Sofia is that she will be as beautiful and lovely as Panagiota was and that she will inherit all of her qualities, and particularly the ability to follow a recipe. Since you know how incapable I am at things technical, may I please ask you to insert something onto the website on my behalf?

Thank you.
All good wishes, Susie

Wedding reception; Susan at right

As always, Susie, your wish is my command! I've included the recipe for Panagiota's carrot cake, which always seemed to be a particular hit while we were in Paris, after the jump. She had a bit of trouble with the frosting, which invariably turned out runnier than she would have liked, but it was undeniably delicious. My favorite memory of this recipe is the first time Panagiota and I decided to make a carrot cake for the people in my office (many of whom gave me the hairy eyeball when I said that such a cake even existed), and as often happened, she wasn't satisfied with how the first cake turned out ... aesthetically. So she made another one. I think that I gained five pounds that week. I hope that you all enjoy the recipe after the jump!

I Remember When...: Pegs Went to Ingrid Brulant's Birthday

Translated from the original French, available after the jump:

 Dear Lee, united in spirit with Pegs.

I remember the surprise and happiness that I had when you arrived for my 30th birthday in August 2006! You had both come all the way from Paris just for the evening in the north [of France] ... I discovered that night that Pegs and I were born only 5 days apart!  I too celebrated my 35th birthday a few weeks ago ...

I particularly remember talking for a long time on the phone with Panagiota a month after the birth of Sofia. A little more experienced than Peg, already having my two daughters at the time, I felt so close to her joy but also to the fatigue of any new mom. It is a beautiful memory for me. She was simple, direct and frank, funny, and full of self-restraint.

We also had a great weekend in Paris in your apartment on rue de l'Odeon ... I regret not seeing you both more often; time passes so quickly.

I also remember your wedding on the Seine, Paris in all its beauty and a wonderful evening with your friends and family.

And lastly I remember your courage Lee, for facing the unbearable, so modestly.

My little ones, Jane and Eva, are preparing some beautiful drawings for Sofia, ... soon in your mail box!

This website really pays Panagiota a nice tribute. Thank you for sharing it. The photos are beautiful. Our heart goes out to you, and I think of Pegs.

Ingrid

Ingrid & Brulant Benedict, Jeanne, Eva, Edgar. From Lille, France.

The Wine & Whiners

Paris, Feb 2008

When you're naturally shy and living in a foreign country where you don't speak the language as well as you would like, it's not the easiest thing to make friends. It's even harder if you're not working and your spouse is pulling 80-hour weeks on a regular basis. Fortunately, Pegs made some very fast and enduring friendships in Paris, particularly with a group of new moms who referred to themselves as the "Wine & Whine" group for their tendency to get together to have a drink (or three) and vent about the difficulties of motherhood. In the fall of 2007, Pegs and I signed up for a birthing class set up by a fantastic expat community group called Message (a hearty welcome to the Message members who have visited our site!). It was hosted by a lovely young British couple named Stephanie and Jonny who lived in a gorgeous apartment; I don't remember how many couches they had in their living room, but I do know that it was large enough to accommodate six pregnant women, their spouses and a rather territorial cat. For some reason, the teacher was an hour late to the session, but rather than sit around twiddling our fingers, we all got to chatting and interacting, and by the time the teacher showed up, we knew that we would be meeting again. And thus was born the Wine & Whiners. The ladies met on a fairly regular basis after that and occasionally invited in additional members, but the nucleus of the group remained consistent and strong. If it weren't for them and the support of the Message community, I think that Pegs would have lost her sanity while trying to raise a newborn in Paris. If I haven't already said it enough, I really appreciate your friendship and how much it meant to Pegs. Here are just a few pictures from one of the playdates/drinking sessions that the group had; I'd love to see any more that you ladies have to share, and I hope to hear from you (and the rest of the Message community!) again soon.

I Remember When: I Met Pegs in NYC

An email to Lee from Hillary Norris:

Hello my sweet friend,

I participated in my first Race for the Cure last year and it was the most inspiring thing I have been a part of in my entire life!  I signed up again and walked this year on Oct 15 in Birmingham.  Seeing everyone banded together in pink ... walking or running, in costumes or crazy hats, pushing strollers or wheelchairs ... all of it was just breath taking.  I walked in memory of Pegs this year and during the 3.1 miles I spent that time thinking of the people that I know that have or had breast cancer and Pegs in particular.  Due to the wonders of the internet I feel like I knew her much better than I did.   I remember meeting her in NYC at dinner with you in Feb 2003 and I think that might have been the only time I saw her in person instead of in pictures on a computer screen.  However you my friend I have known since I came home from the hospital over 35 years ago.  I am so happy to have been invited to share in the wonderful website you have set up so I can get to know more about this amazing woman!  And I look forward to the day I get to meet little Miss Sofia in person.

love to you and Sofia,

Hillary

I Remember When: We Made Dinner

Not just any dinner. A full home-made thai dinner. I won a thai cooking lesson from the Message annual general meeting. I told Panagiota about it and she bought herself the same lesson so we could do it together and make dinner for our husbands. The idea was that the woman, Kochapan, would take us shopping, buy all the rather exotic ingredients, make dinner in her gourmet kitchen and then pack it all up to take home.

Everything was going so well. Until the roses. We were simmering and chopping and throwing in dashes of this and that, the smell was taking over my brain it was so good. Then we started with the vegetable carving. Part of the lesson was to learn how to make apple doves and lotus napkins and.... tomato roses. In order to make a tomato rose, you must peel an entire tomato without breaking it, and the peel should be approximately even the whole way. Panagiota peeled her tomato, swirled it in to a rose and started on her napkin. By my fourth tomato, I was starting to get a little frustrated.

Panagiota: Mmmm. What are you doing, exactly?

Me: I'm making a tomato rose!

Panagiota: I ....beg to differ.

Me: She's coming back soon and she's going to see them! They're mangled!

Panagiota: Give it to me.

Panagiota takes my tomato that looked like it had been peeled with a hatchet, finishes it up, swirls it in to a rose and puts it in front of me. Kochapan walks back in, looks at our roses and gives a little nod of satisfaction to Panagiota's and a nod of...acceptance to mine. You'd think I'd gotten away with murder I was so relieved. See if you can guess which tomato is which from the photo.

I had trouble with the napkins too.

My Memories of Pegs

Pegs and I went to high school together in the small town of Mullins, SC and being one of the few ethnic kids in our class we pretty much had an instant connection.  I mean with her I never got asked "Why?" when my parents wouldn't let me stay out later than 8pm on a Saturday night or why we called everyone who was Indian an uncle or aunt even though we were not remotely related to them--she just got it. We understood each others families without a lot of explanation.  It also didn't hurt that my older sister, Bina, and her sister Niki were pretty much twinkies... bossy, loud and at that point in our lives hard to live with (who knew that a few years down the road each of them would become our best friends?)!  I remember going to her restaurant after I had decided to switch from private to public school.  My Mom who was a teacher at the high school knew Niki and Amalia and loved them and wanted to introduce me to Pegs since she would be in my same grade. I was super shy at the time and  was mortified but Pegs who was also somewhat shy said hello and smiled and we made small talk.  We were good friends during the first 2 years of high school but eventually we ended up having the exact same schedule the last 2 years and pretty much became inseparable.  Peggy, as I grew up calling her, was smart, generous, pretty, and continuously challenged me to do my best. We also shared the same sense of humor (meaning I was self-deprecating and she also liked to make fun of me :) ).  We were best friends. When I went off to college a couple of hours away from home and she went locally we still continued to keep in touch.  Much of our correspondence was through phone calls and snail mail at the time.  I had thought I had lost my box of old letters when we moved from Ohio to Texas 4 years ago but the day after Pegs passed away, my husband pulls out a box from a closet when he was looking for something and and says "you'll never guess what I found." It was as if Pegs was sending me a sign or something. I was meant to find those letters at that exact moment in time.  I spent the next few hours digging out all of her letters and sobbing.  So many emotions were going through my head... sadness from losing my dear friend way too soon, sadness that she was not in the frame of mind to see my friend Steve and me when we made a surprise visit to NJ in July--I sooo wanted to hug her one last time (not that I blame her for one minute--she had been through a whole lot in the previous weeks--it was bad idea on our part with the best of intentions), regret for losing touch with her for 8 years in between when I let "life" get in the way of reaching out to her, thankfulness for reconnecting the last few years, and  despair knowing I would never hear her voice again or be able to tell her I love her and how much she meant to me. She truly helped shape me into the person I am today. Her motivation and support made me a more confident person than I was before I met her.  Her compassion and generosity made me want to be more like her and to this day I remember all the little things she would do to show she cared like send a care package or card to my dorm when I was having a particularly stressful week.  It's amazing to me how much you can miss someone you haven't seen in 10 years but I miss her everyday.  Every time I see something pertaining to Canada I think of her, every time my Greek customer picks up prescriptions at the pharmacy I think of her, every time I hear the Scorpions Wind of Change on the radio (more than you would expect) I think of her, the new air delight hersey's kiss commercials remind me of aero bars which she used to love so I think of her!  Around the time of our trip to Jersey in July I was listening to the song "Someone like you" by Adele and although I know the song has a different meaning altogether, there is a verse in it that I can no longer listen to without thinking of Pegs:

"Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over."

Even now, Pegs, it isn't over for me... I am better for having known you... I love you and I miss you everyday my beautiful, sweet friend.

xoxo-Rachna

1,500 pageviews ... and counting

I'm pleased to say that in less than three days of this site being available, we've already had over 1,500 pageviews. I think that's an incredible testament to how many people were touched by Panagiota's life and how interested they are in learning more about her. I hope that you all will continue to visit regularly. Above all, we would love, LOVE, LOVE to hear from you, so please leave a comment or send an e-mail to palexandropoulos@gmail.com. Even if you would just like to express your condolences or drop a quick line about how you knew Pegs, we would appreciate getting your feedback. Thanks again, and we hope to hear from you soon!

E-mail from Jennifer Hart (Wine and Whiner)

Hi there,

Brooke shared the link for the blog and after spending an emotional hour or so reading, remembering, laughing and copying recipes, I went back to my email and started re-reading numerous conversations Pegs and I shared. There are so many to go through, lots of them one-liners, making plans or middle of the night venting with our frustrations over being new mums!

I wanted to post something that encaptured her sweet, shy nature (even though she was hands-down one of the wittiest and funniest people I have ever met!).

This was from her on the 14th of October 2009. She wrote to me saying she felt pathetic because she wanted to retreat from people for a bit. I got mad and told her she wasn't allowed to EVER call herself pathetic again. Then she wrote this about Lee. It was always obvious to the Wine and Whiners how much she adored her husband. 

"I'm just taking a hard look at my life and trying to see how to change the things that bother me.  I'm a very shy person, I don't make friends very easily and Lee is my best friend.  He was my best friend for a long time before we started dating and I need my best friend now more than ever."

I'm so sorry Panagiota lost her battle with cancer. I'm angry, too. Not angry at her or anything silly like that, I am angry that this crap continues to happen.  I have been a warrior for breast cancer research long before Pegs was ever diagnosed, heck even before I met her, and I promise I won't stop.

On the 2nd of October, I ran a 10K race for Breast Cancer here in Paris.  I handed out pink bandanas for a donation to breast cancer research and also had people carry Pegs' name on their back. We all share the burden of finding a cure and I wanted to demonstrate that. That day, 22 of us honoured Pegs and ran in her name. I also raised over €500. The run was emotional as the news of Pegs' passing was so fresh and painful.  We had a glorious day for the run (I ran 10K, Jonathan ran 5K and the kids cheered us on).  Somewhere in the deep woods of the Bois de Vincennes, I said my goodbyes to Panagiota. 

She had a major impact on my life here in Paris and helped me through such a dark period after my son was born.  Her lasting imprint is that of an extremely loving, caring, funny, private and intelligent person. Paris was tainted for her (her words to me one day) but her leaving Paris did not taint any of our love for her.  She was the first person outside of hospital staff to meet my son James almost 4 years ago. I was lucky she was in my life, however short the time was.

Pegs once thanked me for fighting when she was in the midst of treatment. It made me awkward because I don't do it for thanks so she and I made a deal. The deal was that she keep kicking cancer's ass and I would keep trying to run it off the planet. Until I'm no longer able to live up to my end, I will keep running. A deal is a deal.

Sorry for rambling. I have SO much I want to say, so many things I want to share with Sofia (Karen Spove and I have been talking a lot about this) and I am afraid that I should have thought and edited before sending this but that's not really how I work so here's this jumbled mess of thoughts.  There will be more to come, I just was so emotional and inspired I HAD to send something right away.

Love and hugs to Sofia and Lee.  My daughter Milla is actually wearing one of Sofia's old outfits today...

xo

Jennifer

I Remember When...: Sia Was Born

On April 20, 1998 we welcomed our firstborn daughter Sia.  She was three weeks early and needless to say I had nothing ready.   We had a crib, still in the box.  We had a car seat, still in the box.  We had a changing table, still in the box.  We had clothes.....you get the picture.  Sia was born a little after 4p.m. and Peggy came into my room at around 11 that night.  She stayed and worked at the restaurant so that our parents could come to the hospital.  Before she came to see us, Peggy went to the Wal-Mart to pick up some baby stuff.  She washed and sterilized everything and put them in a diaper bag.  Peggy brought me some flowers and some baked spaghetti,  not knowing I couldn't eat from having a C-section.   But I ate it anyway!!   She was wonderful like that.

Posted on behalf of Amalia

Panagiota Papers: Felix (The man on the side)

From Panagiota to Brooke, December 1, 2007

I think you'll really like the playgroup. The moms I've met there are super nice. And they have kids of all ages, some near Felix's age. When the weather is nice I think they meet in a park. When Sofia is a little older and more on a schedule (and our aparment is babyproofed and not a child hazard!), I would be happy to babysit Felix once in a while to give you and Dave some couple time. I'm so in love with your son by the way. Even my husband makes fun of me for it.

This was Panagiota's favourite Felix story:

.........

Dave is getting Felix ready for bed.

Felix says "I don't want to brush teeth, I want to go to the park!"

Dave says jokingly, "What you want is irrelevant"

Felix gives in and brushes teeth and gets ready for bed etc.

So today Felix and I are getting ready to go shopping but I've misplaced my keys. Felix says:

"Whatcha doing, Mommy?"

"Well honey, I want to go to the store but I can't find my keys." I say.

"What you want", says Felix, "Is an elephant."

Letters

As Lee mentioned before, Pegs got along very easily with the whole French family who in return loved her from day one. Bon Papa, who used to call her "Chere petite Peg," was a big fan of hers.

For his 90th birthday he received a computer to keep more easily in touch with his grandchildren spread in different countries, learning how to Skype, read/write emails and watch photos.

Pegs, who loved Bon Papa, wrote this email on 12/02/08:

Hey everybody / Bonjour a tous,

I thought I would start a Sofia photo of the day daily email. I thought it would be a nice way to share a bit of Sofia with you every day with the added benefit of ensuring that Bon Papa gets at least one email a day from me. Now, if some kind soul would translate this for him, then he gets at least two emails a day!

Cute things Sofia has done lately:
- She has started walking. She is still a bit off balance, but she tries her little heart out.
- She identifies people in pictures and when I ask her to identify a particular person, she points to them.
- Finally calls me mama instead of dada.

Bisous,
Pegs

Panagiota Letters: Baking and Taking Compliments

Brooke's post of recipes reminded me of all the times Panagiota had Ariel and me over for dinner while we lived in Paris, and how great those evenings and meals were (really, it's unfair that a vegetarian could make such a good chicken curry dish).

This brief exchange between the two of us was after one of those nights. Pegs had sent Ariel and me home with some cake she had made - in part, I think, so that she wouldn't be tempted to have more of it herself - and after enjoying a slice the next day, I wrote her a little thank you note. I think it nicely encapsulates a) how good her food was, b) the Vanderpool reliance on pop culture references, and c) Panagiota's typical combination of modesty and wit in response to compliments.


From Derek to Panagiota, November 11, 2008

Subject: Pegs is great!
She made us chocolate cake!

--

From Panagiota to Derek, November 11, 2008

you're not snorting it are you?

Panagiota Preferences: Family

One thing that always amazed me about Pegs was how easily she got along with my entire family. She wasn't the most outgoing person by nature; she was retiring and tended not to dominate the conversation. In my family, whether on my father's (American) or my mother's (French) side, discussions tend to be loud and animated. The decibel level reaches dangerous proportions whenever more than five of us get together, and if it's a family reunion, you pretty much need to wear ear plugs to keep your eardrums from bleeding. I was genuinely afraid that Pegs would get intimidated or lost in the shuffle, especially when interacting with the French side because of the language barrier. But if there was one thing that outweighed her naturally quiet nature, it was her love of family. She may not have been the loudest person in the room, but her quick responses and witty insights often provoked the loudest laughs. For a family that prides itself on one-upsmanship, she more than held her own.

Panagiota was especially close to my French grandparents, whom she got to know very well while we lived in France. In fact, it was Panagiota who would often suggest going to visit them on the weekends; I don't know of very many 30-somethings who would push their spouses to spend half of their weekend going to visit their in-laws. I'd like to think that says a lot about my family, but I think it says even more about Panagiota.

New Orleans, Thanksgiving 2006

Bondues, Christmas 2008

Las Vegas, 2010

Pegs' recipes

Panagiota made the best vegetarian food. Whenever I was desperate for some variety she'd give me a recipe. These are two of my absolute favourites.

From Panagiota to Brooke on Nov. 2, 2010

Ok, here are two delicious recipes. The burgers are the best veggie

burgers I've ever had. And the vegetable sausages are addictive.

These are the actual recipes, but I skip half the steps usually.

Like, I use ready breadcrumbs, or just throw everything in a food

processor. Depends how lazy I'm feeling. Or you can substitute

quinoa or rice to add a grain. Or more veggies. You really can't

screw them up.

Cheesy Vegetable Sausages

225 g / 8 oz sliced white bread

50 g / 2 oz grated carrot

175 g / 6 oz grated courgette

25 g / 1 oz butter

1 medium onion, finely chopped

150 g / 5 oz grated Cheddar cheese

1 egg, separated

a little salt and pepper

oil for frying

Make the breadcrumbs by tearing the bread into pieces and blitzing it

in a food processor. Squeeze the excess liquid out of the carrot and

courgette.

Heat the butter in a frying pan and fry the onion until soft. Add the

grated carrot and cook for 2 minutes. Add the courgette and cook for

3 minutes until softened. Mix with the grated cheese, half the

breadcrumbs, the egg yolk and seasoning.

Shape into 8 sausages about 10 cm / 4 inches long, using floured hands

and chill in the freezer for 10 minutes. Dip into the lightly beaten

egg white and then roll in the remaining breadcrumbs. Heat some oil

in a wok or frying pan and shallow-fry the sausages until lightly

golden.

Veggie Burgers

1/2 cup raw, unsalted cashews

1 tbsp olive oil

1 red onion, chopped

1 carrot, grated

1/2 small leek, carefully washed and chopped

1/2 cup sliced mushrooms

1 garlic clove, crushed

1/4 tsp chopped fresh thyme leaves

3/4 cup cooked brown rice (1/4 cup uncooked)

1 tbsp soy sauce

1/3 cup grated Gruyere

1 cup fresh bread crumbs

1 tbsp honey

1 egg yolk

salt and freshly ground black pepper, to season

all-purpose flour, for dusting

2 tbsp canola oil, for frying

Preheat the oven to 350. Spread the cashews on a baking sheet and

roast for 8 to 10 minutes. Watch carefully, as after about 5 minutes

the nuts brown quickly. (Or just buy roasted unsalted.)

Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan with the onion, carrot, leek,

mushrooms, garlic and thyme. Saute for 10 minutes or until the

vegetables are soft and the liquid has evaporated. Add the rice and

cook for 1 minute. Allow to cool slightly.

Put the cashews in a food processor and pulse 6 or 7 times until

coarsely chopped. Add the rice mixture and the soy sauce, Gruyere,

bread crumbs, honey and egg yolk with some seasoning and pulse 5 or 6

times until just combined.

Form into 6 or 8 patties with flour-dusted hands (the mixture is a bit

wet). Refrigerate for a minimum of 1 hour or overnight. Heat the

canola oil in a nonstick frying pan, dust the patties with flour, and

gently fry for about 3 minutes each side.

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

As you're probably well aware, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. At the risk of exposing you all to even more pink ribbons (or, for American football fans, pink cleats and mouthpieces), we would like to encourage you to donate to and/or volunteer for one of the many organizations fighting and/or researching cancer (see a list of the ones we particularly support at right). Many of you have already made a donation to one of these organizations in Panagiota's name (see the list recognizing those individuals at right), which we greatly appreciate. If you are asked whether you are running/donating/volunteering on anyone's behalf, we would be very touched if you would say that you are doing so for Panagiota.  If you do run/donate/volunteer, please be sure to let us know so we can help sing your praises.

And now, to add some levity to what would otherwise be a decidedly serious post, below is an excerpt from our family blog, The Alexanderpools, from when Pegs and I participated in our local Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure last year; I think that it really reflects Pegs' wit and spirit:

At the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure 5k, after the MC introduced a local TV anchor:

Pegs: Yeah, that's why I came: for the celebrities.

Christmas preparations

From Panagiota to Brooke on December 22, 2010

Europe has gotten pummeled hasn't it? So many poor people stuck in airports. It sounds like torture. It's been cold here, but no real snow yet. There might be a snowstorm on Christmas. That would be kind of nice actually. To be stuck inside with everybody on Christmas hanging out, eating and being together. Sounds cozy and Christmasy. Where are you doing Christmas? Andreas house or will it just be the three of you? I have no idea what to get Lee. I thought a karaoke machine would be fun. Especially because my little 6 year old is really into listening to pop songs on the radio and she gets the two little ones into it and the three of them half sing these horrible pop songs. It's very funny. Plus Lee hates it when I sing. He actually hates it when most people sing so making him sit in a room listening to people who can't sing should be loads of fun for me. Poor Sofia is sick. She has like a weird flu/cold/virus hybrid. She has fever, but not high and she's tolerating it well, a (clear) runny nose, puffy eyes, she is either really hungry or not at all, and alternates between constipation and her tummy hurting. I'm going to assume it's a virus and hope it's gone by Christmas. I'm embarrassed to say that I may have bought her too many presents for Christmas. I'm so against that and Lee and I have actually gotten into arguments about it because he believes in loads of presents. But I couldn't resist this year. It's not like I got her anything expensive. Just lots of cheap 1 or 2 dollar things. Lots might be an exaggeration. I got her one big thing, and several cheap stocking stuffers that don't fit in her stocking so have become wrapped presents instead. And I'm so torn about the Santa Claus thing. We never believed in Santa Claus. My parents are practical Greeks, they were like there is no Santa Claus get over it. But I feel bad ruining it for Sofia. xxoo, P

This is an email I got from Panagiota last Christmas, when she went her version of "whole hog". I thought about saving this one for Christmas, but the idea of her buying Lee a karaoke machine just to drive him crazy just made me laugh out loud so I had to share. It's hard to choose emails because they're all part of such a long back-and-forth. Most of our friendship, really, played out through emails. I am fortunate that my lazy yin (as opposed to her fastidious yang) meant that I never delete emails. I have all of the emails sent between us, from the planning of the baby CPR course where we met, to the last one she sent making plans for me to visit after her last round of treatments. I think of things to tell her all the time.

Brooke