Pegs' Birthday

As a lot of you know, it was Pegs' birthday today, her 36th. When I got to the office this morning I had already received a number of e-mails and Facebook posts expressing birthday greetings and well-wishes, and they continued to come in throughout the day. Thanks so much to everyone who wrote, called, texted, posted or otherwise took a moment of your day to think about Pegs.

When Pegs and I first met, she told me that she wasn't particularly big on birthdays. She said that name days were more important in her family, as were religious holidays; birthdays were typically a more muted affair. But in 2009, as Pegs was finishing up her first series of chemotherapy treatments, she told me that she wanted a big party for her birthday that year: lots of friends, food, drinks ... the works.  Unfortunately, she didn't express this desire until her birthday was already upon us, a moment when I was coming home from the office well past midnight every night.  Fortunately, Pegs' friend Brooke swooped in to the rescue and helped me find a great venue: a rooftop apartment with a fantastic view of the Eiffel Tower.  I booked a caterer, bought a bunch of booze and invited all of our anglophone friends in Paris, and in short order we had ourselves a birthday party.  It might just have been the champagne, but as I recall everyone had a great time, especially Pegs.  It was so wonderful to see her happy that night after all she had been through; she was surrounded by people she loved and who loved her, and she was able to forget about all of her worries and just enjoy herself for the first time in a long while.  For those of you who were there, thank you so much for helping to make that night so special; for those who couldn't be there, I hope that you can appreciate how happy Pegs was in the pictures below.  Happy birthday, my love.

Mother's Day / Susan G. Komen Race

Today was Mother's Day in the US, which was a somewhat bittersweet event in the Alexanderpool household. I started the day by participating in the Susan G. Komen Philadelphia chapter's Race for the Cure event, a 5k run dedicated to raising funds for breast cancer research and women's health care initiatives with all proceeds going to Delaware Valley-area institutions. Pegs and I ran the same race when we first arrived in 2010, so to say that it brought back a number of memories would be a bit of an understatement. There were an estimated 45,000 participants this year, many of them wearing pink tags indicating that they were racing in celebration of or in memory of someone. I saw a number of women who were clearly either undergoing treatment or just recovering from it, most of them surrounded by their friends and loved ones running with them. I was happy to support the event and celebrate the fight that so many of these women were clearly winning, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't also somewhat angry (or at least embittered) that Panagiota wasn't one of them. I found myself at the very front of the crowd of runners, and when the starting gun was fired, I took off much faster than my usual jogging pace. I was running almost recklessly, as if I wanted to get away from a guilty sense of resentment towards the happy survivors, when I saw Sofia on the side of the road with Yia Yia, Papou, Nik, Young, Alex and Eva. In a split second I remembered why I was really running, and a quick high-five from Sofia drove me to continue at the same pace through the rest of the course: not out of a sense of anger and frustration, but out of a sense of hope, love and concern for those who loved and were loved by Pegs. When I met up with everyone after the race, I asked Sofia if she knew why I had run in the race; she thought about it for a second before replying, "You ran to win, Daddy." I did indeed, and I think I could say the same for everyone who participated today. Happy Mother's Day, Pegs; we miss you.

View of the crowd at the race; May 13, 2012

After the race; May 13, 2012

Why I ran today; May 13, 2012

Why I'll continue to run; May 13, 2012

Christmas Recipes

Paris; 13 December 2008

The Christmas holidays are long since over and we just wrapped up Easter (both Greek and regular), but since I organized all of Pegs' recipes into an album a while back I thought I should share these with you to help keep up the holiday spirit. I can only remember one time when she made the sugar cookie recipe (see picture at right), for a pre-Christmas party in 2008. Derek and Ariel were living in Paris at the time, and we invited them and our friends Brooke and Dave (and of course, their son Felix) to come over and drink mulled wine, eat sugar cookies and make paper snowflakes. If memory serves, Pegs was dissatisfied with how the cookies turned out (even though they were absolutely delicious), and everyone enjoyed the mulled wine immensely.

Paris; 13 December 2008

Paris; 13 December 2008

Paris; 13 December 2008

Click the link below to check out the recipes for Pegs' sugar cookies and mulled wine.

Senior Yearbook Pictures

Rachna Patel was kind enough to send us some pictures from Panagiota's senior yearbook. High school is a difficult time for a lot of kids, and I know that Panagiota was no exception, but she may have been more fortunate than most to have come out of it with such strong and enduring friendships. I don't know many people who would want to fly from New York to Sacramento for a high school friend's wedding, or from anywhere to Omaha (with no offense to Steve Bishara or Warren Buffet) to visit a high school friend just to say hi. Panagiota may not have made friends easily, but she certainly made them for life.

Christmas Memories

Croix; April 26, 2008

Posted (belatedly) on behalf of Ingrid (Malfait) Guilbaud: 

I remember very well when both Pegs and I announced to the family that we were pregnant. It was at Patricia's place, where we met for one of our traditional family lunches. After a while Lee told me: congratulations for your pregnancy, we are so happy we decided to do the same! 

Although the due dates were quite different (early Nov and early Dec), Sofia decided to come to life a bit earlier than expected, and only 5 days after Louise. 

It was such a wonderful perspective to have these two cousins so close in age. Pegs and I were looking forward to see them playing together (we still have to fulfill this wish, Lee!). Thanks to our regular meetings in Lille, we were able to see them growing and changing, comparing the sizes (that was quite easy) and exchanging tricks on best ways to make them sleep full nights. As you see in the picture at right, only our beloved Bon Papa was kind (and open minded!) enough to let us change baby diapers on his own bed! 

Pegs was always adorable with Louise, playing with her, offering us to take care of her while we were eating at the restaurant at Bon Papa's place. 

If you ask Antoine about what Pegs makes him think about, quickly the word food will come in the conversation. One day we were invited in at the very last minute (about a few hours before) with some friends of ours at Lee and Pegs' and she cooked a wonderful roasted chicken. It would have taken me one week to think about it, get the ingredients and several hours to prepare it! 

I also remember that for one of the Christmases we spent in Bondues, she prepared food gifts for each of us that she made herself and presented in very nice packages. I thought it was such a nice idea to put part of yourself in Christmas gifts....as we are celebrating Christmas today, I will have a special thought about this moment in Pegs' memory. 

Click on the link below to see pictures of Pegs and Ingrid pregnant together and videos of Pegs playing with Louise and Sofia. 

I Remember When... We Went to Prague

Prague, August 14, 2006

From Damien Vanderpool:

I perused Pegs’ website while having a few minutes at work today, and I read your story about the chips.  I wanted to post on the site myself, but the firewalls here at work won’t let me, and I wanted to write this now while it’s still vivid in my mind.  The thought of paprika chips reminded me of our visit to the Czech Republic, and 3 things instantly came to my mind:

1. Every neighborhood in Prague had its own manhole cover, and they were all, oddly enough, quite beautiful.
2. The memory of all the statues along that bridge in Prague (a more observant/educated man would know the name of the bridge since it’s so famous, but alas I do not). [Ed. note: The bridge Damien is referring to above is the Charles Bridge, which is one of the most famous sites in the city, lined with 30 statues and offering a beautiful view of the Vltava River]
3. Pegs’ use of the word “guy” when referring to anyone (e.g.-“How’s it going, guy?”).

It is because of that trip (and Pegs’ humor/delivery) that I use that phrase on a regular basis to this day (and this vacation was about 5 or 6 years ago, wasn’t it?).  I think that was probably the first time I got to hang out with Pegs without the whole family there for more than a few minutes.  I had such a great time.  Thanks again for letting me be the 3rd wheel with you guys.

-Damien

p.s.-the memories are flooding in!  I also remember how the castles would have wallpaper that looked like stone, and we would remark on how cheesy it was and odd.

Click on the jump below to see some more pictures.

I Remember When...: From Janet and Steve

Wedding Reception; July 7, 2005
(Janet and Steve at center)

Our first introduction to Pegs was at Stephen and Jennifer's wedding in New Orleans, where she navigated an inundation of family (and of Lee's wit) with total aplomb. Our second meeting was at her own wedding in Paris, where she navigated another inundation of family with even more astounding aplomb. Her quiet equanimity centered the storm, and the image of her at the altar with Lee (smiling him through the rituals of the Greek Orthodox ceremony) is unforgettable.

Las Vegas; July 2010

But beyond those memories are those of a mother completely devoted to her daughter, not as a copy of herself but as a female whose independent spirit should be coached but not coddled. Dressing Sofia in the most preciously feminine clothes, Pegs nonetheless encouraged her strength of spirit and the importance of order. How well I remember the picture-posing in Las Vegas for Nanya's ninetieth birthday when Derek set up the camera for the "line-up." Next to Pegs, who was holding Sofia, I commented on how completely adorable she was to which Pegs replied, "Yes, but it just makes the disciplining that much more difficult." At that moment, of course, Sofia tilted back her head to hug her mother, who melted immediately.

Costa Rice; March 2011

Then there was Costa Rica for Vanessa and Paul's wedding when Sofia's first comment to me was "I'm just a kid." Eventually realizing that the prompt was my longer ponytail, I related the story to Pegs, who marveled as well at Sofia's lovely curls as she brought in the perfect shell for her to bear the rings. The look on Pegs' and Lee's faces as Sofia floated down that grassy aisle is forever imprinted in our memory.

Already, Sofia's gaze reflects the directness of her mother's, a legacy through which Pegs lives on and through which her daughter will triumph. Lee's pride in them both warms our hearts.

All love always,

Janet and Steve

London, Baby!

I've been putting up a few sentimental posts as of late, so I wanted to lighten the mood a little with something a bit more lighthearted. Below is a photo that only a few of you have probably ever seen from a weekend trip Pegs and I took to London to meet up with Eric Schwesinger, who flew all the way to England because his mother's astrologist told him he had to be there on his birthday (seriously). We had just left our hotel and were walking down a small street when Pegs saw this scantily clad mannequin in the window of a shop. Completely unprompted, Pegs reached through the grill of the front door and gave the mannequin's hooter a honk. Maybe it's the mischievous look on her face or the fact that she would do something so funny without a second thought, but this shot makes me chuckle every time.

London, April 29, 2006

Panagiota Alexandropoulos, Esq.

Paris, July 6, 2005 (with Bob)

A lot of people knew Pegs as a devoted mother, a quick wit and/or a great cook, but not many people also knew her as a fantastic lawyer. Pegs didn't work as an attorney for very long; she began her career in October 2001 and left private practice in December 2004. In that short time, however, she was generally acknowledged by those who knew what they were doing as a remarkably bright and capable attorney. Although she admitted to never being comfortable with some of the confrontational aspects of negotiating, her many other attributes (organization, attention to detail, dedication and problem-solving, to name a few) lent themselves extremely well to a transactional practice. Even after she stopped working, whenever she and I would talk about what I was doing at the office, she would not only invariably understand the situation, but she would also often have valuable insights on how to address any problems I was having. Considering that her career in private practice only spanned the course of three years, her ability to engage in those sorts of discussions years after she had stopped working as a lawyer was truly remarkable (and not just a little bit intimidating, to be honest). Needless to say, I was always really impressed by Pegs' abilities as an attorney, but please don't take my word for it. Below is an e-mail from her former law partner, Bob Finley, with whom she practiced at both Clifford Chance and King & Spalding. The email was dated December 27, 2004, shortly after she stopped working in order to move with me to France. On a side note, Bob came to our wedding a little over six months after he sent this e-mail, and I seem to recall that he spent half of the reception congratulating Pegs and the other half trying to find out when she planned to move back to the US....

From: Bob Finley

Date: December 27, 2004

Subject: You

It has been an absolute pleasure for me to have had the opportunity to work with you these past few years. You are an extraordinary talent and person. You are, of course, very smart and capable. More importantly, you care about your work, are eager to learn and grow and really value doing a good job. Your efforts really helped me to develop my relationship with GE. I can't tell you how important your contribution was.

I know that you'll succeed in whatever you do. I hope you stick with law as you have a real talent.

Give your new life a chance and expect to be freaked out from time to time.

I hope you'll stay in touch and that we get to work together again. Things tend to work out the way they should over time, particularly for those who put effort into what they do.

Thanks again for the wine. Say hello to the French for me.

Sincerely and with my best wishes for you always,

Bob

I Remember When...: Pegs Went Zip Lining

Costa Rica, March 30, 2011

After she got her first cancer diagnosis, Pegs decided to make a lot of lifestyle changes: cutting out sugars and processed foods, limiting her use of and contact with chemical products, reducing stress, etc. She even considered getting a tattoo, which was something she had never been interested in before; she later liked to joke that she had all the tattoos she needed after she got her radiation treatment markers (little permanent dots they put on to indicate where the radiation needs to be delivered each session). After her first recurrence, she was more determined than ever to implement positive lifestyle changes, and that included being open to new experiences. Little did she know that she would get an opportunity while we were in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding to have a new life experience that many consider thrilling, dangerous and/or nauseating. No, I'm not talking eating about the local cuisine; I'm talking about zip lining.

I Remember When... Panagiota Was Preggers

Loutsa, Sept. 3, 2007

As a number of you already know, Pegs had a pretty difficult pregnancy. She liked to joke that she didn't suffer from any of the typical problems associated with pregnancy (hemorrhoids, constipation, cravings), but she got all of the rare and esoteric ones. For example, whenever she ate anything with sugar (including natural sugars like fructose) she would swell up like a balloon. Her ob/gyn later theorized from her collective symptoms that she might be allergic to progesterone, which is one of the hormones that the body produces in large quantities during pregnancy to promote gestation. As you can imagine, being allergic to the very hormones your body is producing can make daily life a little challenging, but Pegs so looked forward to being a mother that she more than happily accepted these inconveniences as a small price to pay for the ultimate reward.

(Click on the link below to read more)

Photos from Paris

These are just a couple of photos of Pegs & Sofia in the kitchen of Lee & Pegs' apartment in Paris (Dec. 8, 2008). The second one is a little blurry (taken with my cell phone), but I think there's such a sweetness in them.

I Remember When...: I first met Panagiota

Paris, July 6, 2005

I wasn't supposed to meet Panagiota when I did. It was in the summer of 2003, and I was supposed to be on my way to France visiting family. But my initial flight was delayed and I missed my connection and had to spend the night in New York. Even then, I was supposed to spend the evening with Lee at his apartment. But Lee had to work late, so it was Pegs who went to Brooklyn to greet me.

Meeting your boyfriend's or girlfriend's family for the first time is pretty much always a nerve-wracking experience. But to meet them for the first time when you're not expecting to? That's scary (and I say this from personal experience: I met my wife's parents at one of her dance performances, and she had forgotten to mention that they'd be there). I can only imagine how nervous Panagiota - a fairly shy person to begin with - must have been when Lee called her at the last minute to ask if she would help me out. Making the situation all the more stressful, I got the one taxi driver in all of New York who had absolutely no idea where anything was. I ended up being well over an hour late, and I didn't have a cell phone to call Lee or Pegs. So poor Pegs was stuck waiting with no clue of what had become of me, probably wondering how she would explain to Lee that his brother was missing somewhere in New York City.

But despite the anxiety of an unexpected family visit and the likely stress and frustration of having to rush to Lee's apartment only to sit there alone for more more than an hour, Pegs was incredibly sweet when I finally arrived (of course, the half-empty bottle of wine I spotted next to her seat on the couch may have helped a bit). She offered me a glass and we spent the rest of the evening on the couch chatting and watching an episode of Sex and the City that she'd started earlier.

To be honest, I'm not sure what exactly we talked about - the only specific moment I can recall is Pegs trying to maintain a normal conversation while being deeply embarrassed by a scene with Kim Cattrall that ... well, let's just say it explicitly illustrated the show's title. What I do remember, though, is really liking Panagiota right from the start and appreciating how generous she was. It may have been a slightly awkward introduction, but from my perspective, at least, it was a great night.

Panagiota Pic: Sofia's first day of school

Moorestown, September 17, 2010

Today's "Panagiota Pic" was taken on Sofia's first day of Montessori last year, which happened to fall on her name day. For those of you not familiar with name days, each saint recognized by the Greek Orthodox Church has a day during the calendar year when s/he is celebrated. Since Greeks tend to recycle their names (I can easily count at least half a dozen "Nicks/Nikis" and the same number of "Panagiotas/Panagiotis" among Pegs' first cousins), almost everyone shares their name with one of these saints. When your saint's name day comes around, you get to celebrate, too.

I suspect that Greeks emphasize names days not only because religion is so deeply integrated into their culture, but also because for a long time Greeks weren't too good with record-keeping. If no one can remember on what day you were born (or even what year), it's kind of tricky to figure out when you should open your presents.  By way of example, for years my father-in-law thought that his birthday was about a month before or after it actually happened (I can't remember which) until someone dug up his baptismal certificate, which showed he was born in April rather than March/May. As you can imagine, the lack of accurate records made celebrating birthdays (and hitting on girls at bars by asking for their sign) really challenging. Thankfully, almost everyone knows their own name, which meant they could rely on the church to tell them when they could pig out on some name-day galopita.

Panagiota's name day is August 15, which is a national holiday in Greece, but not just because she was so awesome. Those of you who studied eastern orthodoxy or have at least five syllables in your last name will know that August 15 is the day of the Assumption, when the Virgin Mary was supposed to have ascended bodily into heaven. It's kind of a big deal: the whole country fasts for two weeks beforehand, and then everyone gets the day off and parties like it's MCMIC. So mark it down on your calendars, and remember to wish Pegs chrona pola next year.

Bonus: I know it's not as much fun as finding out your Jedi name or Wu-Tang Clan name, but if you'd like to know when your Greek name day would be, click on this link. Then be sure to go to a Greek restaurant (or any diner in New Jersey) on that day and ask if you can get a free piece of baklava. Or maybe a sheep's head.

Update/Correction: There are a lot of name days for people named "Panagiota;" Pegs actually celebrated hers on November 21, and not August 15 as I said above. (Classic example of why I should rely on my Outlook calendar and not the Interwebs.) You should still feel free to take off every August 15, though; your boss will completely understand. Also, apparently my father-in-law was only mistaken by a day or so regarding his birthday; in my head (and for purposes of storytelling) it always sounds better when I say that he was off by an entire month.

Photos from Costa Rica

Here are a couple more photos from the trip to Costa Rica. It was such a special week.

Costa Rica, March 30, 2011

Costa Rica, March 31, 2011

I Remember When...: I First Met Pegs

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Translated from the original French, available after the jump:

The first time I met Pegs was in New York in May 2004. Participating in the Erasmus program in Canada for six months, I went to spend ten days in New York with a friend, where Lee and Pegs greeted us like princesses!

I also remember a weekend in Aix en Provence, where Lee and Pegs came to visit me. We spent two super sunny days there, walking the streets of the Old City.

Thank you both for hosting me so many times in Paris when I had interviews, exams, the REM concert, and when Anael and I were passing for the weekend. I have so many memories of Pegs: all of those times we were in the kitchen talking. Pegs, your smile, your kindness, your openness, your welcoming nature and your ready ear made ​​all those moments unforgettable, thank you!

We had the pleasure of seeing you in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding, optimistic and happy, enjoying the family vacation; it was too short, but these moments spent together remain in our memories.

Hard to imagine that we will not see you again, but your courage and that of Lee and Sofia are an example to us all. We are very close to you and embrace you with all our hearts.

Sido and Anaël

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Aix en Provence, May 2006

Provence, May 2006

I Remember When...: Greek Night Out

Posted on behalf of Pauline Serfes:

This picture was taken at St. Thomas Greek Orthodox Church in October of 2010.  Panagiota enjoyed her first festival at the church in New Jersey.   We had fun that night.  The girls told me they were having a girls night out!  I was with my husband and my sons and I spent some time with the girls and their table.    I love this picture.  I treasure it.  It is one of the few I have of Panagiota.

Moorestown, October 2010

Thinking of you... Poolside

Despite it being late October, the weather out here in the Bay Area is really nice. It's sunny and about 85ºF - the perfect weather to go to the pool. Thinking about that reminded me of being in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding and hanging out with Panagiota by the pool at the place we rented. Even though she had just finished a round of chemo only a few days earlier, Pegs seemed really happy and relaxed during that trip. How relaxed, you ask? This relaxed:

Costa Rica, March 2011

Thinking of you... In Bondues

Bondues, Christmas 2005

Translated from the original French, available after the jump:

All of the French family remains united more than ever with you, as well as with Lee and Sofia, holding you deep in our hearts as the day we met you for the first time! In the apartment at The Caleches [where Mamie and Bon Papa lived] we found pictures that Lee had given to Bon Papa that immortalized the smile that brightened your face! Patrick and Béatrice

Bondues, Christmas 2005

Bondues, Christmas 2005

The Wine & Whiners

Paris, Feb 2008

When you're naturally shy and living in a foreign country where you don't speak the language as well as you would like, it's not the easiest thing to make friends. It's even harder if you're not working and your spouse is pulling 80-hour weeks on a regular basis. Fortunately, Pegs made some very fast and enduring friendships in Paris, particularly with a group of new moms who referred to themselves as the "Wine & Whine" group for their tendency to get together to have a drink (or three) and vent about the difficulties of motherhood. In the fall of 2007, Pegs and I signed up for a birthing class set up by a fantastic expat community group called Message (a hearty welcome to the Message members who have visited our site!). It was hosted by a lovely young British couple named Stephanie and Jonny who lived in a gorgeous apartment; I don't remember how many couches they had in their living room, but I do know that it was large enough to accommodate six pregnant women, their spouses and a rather territorial cat. For some reason, the teacher was an hour late to the session, but rather than sit around twiddling our fingers, we all got to chatting and interacting, and by the time the teacher showed up, we knew that we would be meeting again. And thus was born the Wine & Whiners. The ladies met on a fairly regular basis after that and occasionally invited in additional members, but the nucleus of the group remained consistent and strong. If it weren't for them and the support of the Message community, I think that Pegs would have lost her sanity while trying to raise a newborn in Paris. If I haven't already said it enough, I really appreciate your friendship and how much it meant to Pegs. Here are just a few pictures from one of the playdates/drinking sessions that the group had; I'd love to see any more that you ladies have to share, and I hope to hear from you (and the rest of the Message community!) again soon.