My Memories of Pegs

Pegs and I went to high school together in the small town of Mullins, SC and being one of the few ethnic kids in our class we pretty much had an instant connection.  I mean with her I never got asked "Why?" when my parents wouldn't let me stay out later than 8pm on a Saturday night or why we called everyone who was Indian an uncle or aunt even though we were not remotely related to them--she just got it. We understood each others families without a lot of explanation.  It also didn't hurt that my older sister, Bina, and her sister Niki were pretty much twinkies... bossy, loud and at that point in our lives hard to live with (who knew that a few years down the road each of them would become our best friends?)!  I remember going to her restaurant after I had decided to switch from private to public school.  My Mom who was a teacher at the high school knew Niki and Amalia and loved them and wanted to introduce me to Pegs since she would be in my same grade. I was super shy at the time and  was mortified but Pegs who was also somewhat shy said hello and smiled and we made small talk.  We were good friends during the first 2 years of high school but eventually we ended up having the exact same schedule the last 2 years and pretty much became inseparable.  Peggy, as I grew up calling her, was smart, generous, pretty, and continuously challenged me to do my best. We also shared the same sense of humor (meaning I was self-deprecating and she also liked to make fun of me :) ).  We were best friends. When I went off to college a couple of hours away from home and she went locally we still continued to keep in touch.  Much of our correspondence was through phone calls and snail mail at the time.  I had thought I had lost my box of old letters when we moved from Ohio to Texas 4 years ago but the day after Pegs passed away, my husband pulls out a box from a closet when he was looking for something and and says "you'll never guess what I found." It was as if Pegs was sending me a sign or something. I was meant to find those letters at that exact moment in time.  I spent the next few hours digging out all of her letters and sobbing.  So many emotions were going through my head... sadness from losing my dear friend way too soon, sadness that she was not in the frame of mind to see my friend Steve and me when we made a surprise visit to NJ in July--I sooo wanted to hug her one last time (not that I blame her for one minute--she had been through a whole lot in the previous weeks--it was bad idea on our part with the best of intentions), regret for losing touch with her for 8 years in between when I let "life" get in the way of reaching out to her, thankfulness for reconnecting the last few years, and  despair knowing I would never hear her voice again or be able to tell her I love her and how much she meant to me. She truly helped shape me into the person I am today. Her motivation and support made me a more confident person than I was before I met her.  Her compassion and generosity made me want to be more like her and to this day I remember all the little things she would do to show she cared like send a care package or card to my dorm when I was having a particularly stressful week.  It's amazing to me how much you can miss someone you haven't seen in 10 years but I miss her everyday.  Every time I see something pertaining to Canada I think of her, every time my Greek customer picks up prescriptions at the pharmacy I think of her, every time I hear the Scorpions Wind of Change on the radio (more than you would expect) I think of her, the new air delight hersey's kiss commercials remind me of aero bars which she used to love so I think of her!  Around the time of our trip to Jersey in July I was listening to the song "Someone like you" by Adele and although I know the song has a different meaning altogether, there is a verse in it that I can no longer listen to without thinking of Pegs:

"Old friend, why are you so shy?

Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over."

Even now, Pegs, it isn't over for me... I am better for having known you... I love you and I miss you everyday my beautiful, sweet friend.

xoxo-Rachna