Race for the Cure-- Dallas

I participated in the Race for the Cure last month and walked in memory of Pegs and, our mutual friend, Steve's Mom as well as in celebration of my aunt who was recently diagnosed and is undergoing treatment.  I had participated several times in the past but this year was obviously different. It was the first year I actively raised money (over $900) for Susan G. Komen and the day of the walk itself was incredibly difficult and emotional...I walked by myself knowing this would be the case but there is no place else I would have rather been.  Miss you Pegs~

 

A Call to Arms

Although Breast Cancer Awareness Month is over, there are still a number of ways in which you can support the fight against breast cancer. For example, if you haven't done so already, we encourage you to donate to one of these worthwhile organizations or another group sponsoring research or assisting those afflicted with the disease:

• The Abramson Cancer Center at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania
• The Philadelphia Chapter of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
• Stand Up 2 Cancer
• Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation

Below is a message from Jennifer Hart, who has been sponsoring breast cancer initiatives in Paris for a while now, most recently in Pegs' name; I'd like to applaud Jennifer for her efforts and to thank her and everyone else who has joined in this struggle:

Hi Lee,

I don't want to bother you but I wanted to share the fruits of some effort here in Paris. I had a fundraising page for breast cancer research for the Odyssea run called ForPegs.  We were away for the Toussaint and during that time the collecte came to an end. The final result was €230 for the Institut de Cancerologie Gustave Roussy.  I know this isn't one of the places you asked people to donate to but I wanted you to know that your wife's memory, legacy and spirit is still motivating people on this side of the pond.  I just mailed them a cheque as well for the bandanas I sold at the breast cancer run.  

Bisous,
Jennifer

I Remember When... We Went to Prague

Prague, August 14, 2006

From Damien Vanderpool:

I perused Pegs’ website while having a few minutes at work today, and I read your story about the chips.  I wanted to post on the site myself, but the firewalls here at work won’t let me, and I wanted to write this now while it’s still vivid in my mind.  The thought of paprika chips reminded me of our visit to the Czech Republic, and 3 things instantly came to my mind:

1. Every neighborhood in Prague had its own manhole cover, and they were all, oddly enough, quite beautiful.
2. The memory of all the statues along that bridge in Prague (a more observant/educated man would know the name of the bridge since it’s so famous, but alas I do not). [Ed. note: The bridge Damien is referring to above is the Charles Bridge, which is one of the most famous sites in the city, lined with 30 statues and offering a beautiful view of the Vltava River]
3. Pegs’ use of the word “guy” when referring to anyone (e.g.-“How’s it going, guy?”).

It is because of that trip (and Pegs’ humor/delivery) that I use that phrase on a regular basis to this day (and this vacation was about 5 or 6 years ago, wasn’t it?).  I think that was probably the first time I got to hang out with Pegs without the whole family there for more than a few minutes.  I had such a great time.  Thanks again for letting me be the 3rd wheel with you guys.

-Damien

p.s.-the memories are flooding in!  I also remember how the castles would have wallpaper that looked like stone, and we would remark on how cheesy it was and odd.

Click on the jump below to see some more pictures.

Ketchup Chips

I picked up a sandwich and a bag of chips in the cafeteria today, and as I was walking out I started talking to a colleague whose husband is Canadian. The conversation turned to the chips I had just purchased (Cool Ranch Doritos), and my colleague mentioned that her husband (who, keep in mind, is Canadian) likes really weird snacks from his childhood like ketchup flavored potato chips. This, of course, reminded me of Pegs, who on more than one occasion demonstrated her love of ketchup flavored chips by wolfing down an entire bag. Pegs wasn't big on processed food as a rule, but one of the things we liked to do when traveling to a foreign country was to visit a convenience store or grocery store and check out the chips section. It always amazed us to discover the flavors that appealed to the local palates, both by home-grown companies and multinationals like Frito Lay. Examples include the ever-popular roasted chicken and thyme flavored chips in France, paprika flavored chips in the Czech Republic and lime-soaked chips in Costa Rica.

Something You May Not Know...: Efficiency

To say that Pegs was an efficient person is like saying that George Lucas has a neck waddle: both give you an idea of what I'm talking about, but don't really convey the scope involved. If you were capable of doing something, odds were that Pegs could do it faster, better and for less money. It took me a while to realize this fact, mostly because she wasn't in the habit of bragging or showing off and I'm relatively clueless, but Pegs was pretty much more capable than I was at everything. Except math. And maybe following directions. Anyway, my point is that if you gave Pegs a task, she would invariably find the most efficient way to get it done and then do it, without procrastination or excuses. Waste frustrated her no end, whether in respect of time, materials or other resources. I was reminded of this when I came across a series of old e-mails between all of the Vandersibs debating what to get my father for his birthday. We all had great ideas about consolidating lots of music files for his new iPod and were trying to figure out what to include, how to include it and who would be responsible for what. Having clearly reached her limit after innumerable missives back and forth, Pegs finally sent an e-mail to everyone involved as follows:

I'm worn out just reading the emails.  How about we get him flowers.  That sounds easy.

If I recall correctly, we got him stargazer lilies.

Accident-Prone Pegs

Paris, November 8, 2008

Rachna's post below inspired me to ask all of you whether you have any good stories about Panagiota getting into accidents, hurting herself or generally being clumsy. Neither of us was particularly coordinated, and we frequently worried that Sofia would grow up with a double dose of awkward genes. [When Sofia knocked out her front tooth last year, I had to wonder whether it was an isolated incident or if it was finally time to get her fitted for a safety helmet.] I can think of a number of occasions in which Pegs was a bit of a klutz, but rather than share a particular story let me just say that she had a very love-hate relationship with our kitchen knives. It must be said that Pegs spent a lot of time in the kitchen and was often distracted by a clingy toddler, but I've never seen anyone with so many nicks, cuts and gouges on her fingers as Pegs. This was especially true whenever she or my father would sharpen our knives, after which I would invariably come home to find Pegs with at least one or two band-aids wrapped around a freshly opened wound. I can't say that Pegs put a lot of her sweat and tears in her meals, but I'm fairly certain that there was a little blood in there on more than one occasion.

Important Life Lessons from Pegs

One morning Pegs walks up to me in high school and here was the exchange:

Pegs: "Hey, do you notice something different?"

Me: "What? Did you get your hair cut?"

Pegs: "Nope" (bats her eyes)

Me: "New makeup?"

Pegs: "No" (closes her eyes)

Me: "Holy crap! What happened to your eyelashes?!?"

Pegs: "I was curling my eyelashes and went to get something from my room and tripped over the hairdryer cord and ripped out half my lashes..."

OUCH!

Its 18 years later and every time I curl my lashes, I remember this story :)

Sweaters from Pegs

When Derek and I first moved to Paris (Fall 2008), Pegs was just finishing cleaning out her closet to get rid of things she hadn't worn in a while, and she very kindly gave me a whole stack of warm sweaters. I became increasingly grateful for them as winter set in, as my California wardrobe was not quite up to a Paris winter.

Last week I got to visit my friend Ginna in North Carolina. When I arrived at her apartment, I realized that we were both wearing hand-me-down sweaters from Pegs! Poor cell phone camera quality notwithstanding, I just had to take a picture. Ginna's is a grey hoodie that Pegs had given me, and that I then gave to Ginna when she visited us in Paris. Mine is a dark red henley. I wear it all the time, and always send a little mental 'thank you' to Pegs when I do.

Sofia's Birthday

Paris; November 8, 2009

Yesterday was Sofia's birthday, which was incredibly bittersweet for all of us. Sofia was very excited to be turning four and getting presents, obviously, but I think each of us felt Pegs' absence. We had cake and opened presents last night at Nik and Young's house, after which Sofia stayed as part of her "birthday sleepover." This morning, since I didn't have to take Sofia to school, I spent some time before work looking at photos and videos from Sofia's earlier birthdays. To mark the occasion (albeit a bit belatedly), I decided to upload a few videos from Sofia's second birthday (make the jump below to access them). You might recognize some of these from The Alexanderpools, but the others are "new" to the web. You'll note that Pegs' hair was coming back in following her chemo treatments, which had ended not long before. One year after these videos were taken, Pegs was diagnosed with her first recurrence. Less than one year after that, she passed away.

I know that I should be focused on Sofia's happiness surrounding her birthday and making sure that she continues to live her life as fully as possible, but I can't help but feel angry at how cheated Pegs was not to be able to be with us. And how cheated Sofia is for the same reason. It just makes me ... very mad that something like this could happen. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put my fist through a wall, eat some leftover birthday cake and hug my daughter just a little too tight. And not necessarily in that order.

I Remember When...: From Janet and Steve

Wedding Reception; July 7, 2005
(Janet and Steve at center)

Our first introduction to Pegs was at Stephen and Jennifer's wedding in New Orleans, where she navigated an inundation of family (and of Lee's wit) with total aplomb. Our second meeting was at her own wedding in Paris, where she navigated another inundation of family with even more astounding aplomb. Her quiet equanimity centered the storm, and the image of her at the altar with Lee (smiling him through the rituals of the Greek Orthodox ceremony) is unforgettable.

Las Vegas; July 2010

But beyond those memories are those of a mother completely devoted to her daughter, not as a copy of herself but as a female whose independent spirit should be coached but not coddled. Dressing Sofia in the most preciously feminine clothes, Pegs nonetheless encouraged her strength of spirit and the importance of order. How well I remember the picture-posing in Las Vegas for Nanya's ninetieth birthday when Derek set up the camera for the "line-up." Next to Pegs, who was holding Sofia, I commented on how completely adorable she was to which Pegs replied, "Yes, but it just makes the disciplining that much more difficult." At that moment, of course, Sofia tilted back her head to hug her mother, who melted immediately.

Costa Rice; March 2011

Then there was Costa Rica for Vanessa and Paul's wedding when Sofia's first comment to me was "I'm just a kid." Eventually realizing that the prompt was my longer ponytail, I related the story to Pegs, who marveled as well at Sofia's lovely curls as she brought in the perfect shell for her to bear the rings. The look on Pegs' and Lee's faces as Sofia floated down that grassy aisle is forever imprinted in our memory.

Already, Sofia's gaze reflects the directness of her mother's, a legacy through which Pegs lives on and through which her daughter will triumph. Lee's pride in them both warms our hearts.

All love always,

Janet and Steve

London, Baby!

I've been putting up a few sentimental posts as of late, so I wanted to lighten the mood a little with something a bit more lighthearted. Below is a photo that only a few of you have probably ever seen from a weekend trip Pegs and I took to London to meet up with Eric Schwesinger, who flew all the way to England because his mother's astrologist told him he had to be there on his birthday (seriously). We had just left our hotel and were walking down a small street when Pegs saw this scantily clad mannequin in the window of a shop. Completely unprompted, Pegs reached through the grill of the front door and gave the mannequin's hooter a honk. Maybe it's the mischievous look on her face or the fact that she would do something so funny without a second thought, but this shot makes me chuckle every time.

London, April 29, 2006

Panagiota Alexandropoulos, Esq.

Paris, July 6, 2005 (with Bob)

A lot of people knew Pegs as a devoted mother, a quick wit and/or a great cook, but not many people also knew her as a fantastic lawyer. Pegs didn't work as an attorney for very long; she began her career in October 2001 and left private practice in December 2004. In that short time, however, she was generally acknowledged by those who knew what they were doing as a remarkably bright and capable attorney. Although she admitted to never being comfortable with some of the confrontational aspects of negotiating, her many other attributes (organization, attention to detail, dedication and problem-solving, to name a few) lent themselves extremely well to a transactional practice. Even after she stopped working, whenever she and I would talk about what I was doing at the office, she would not only invariably understand the situation, but she would also often have valuable insights on how to address any problems I was having. Considering that her career in private practice only spanned the course of three years, her ability to engage in those sorts of discussions years after she had stopped working as a lawyer was truly remarkable (and not just a little bit intimidating, to be honest). Needless to say, I was always really impressed by Pegs' abilities as an attorney, but please don't take my word for it. Below is an e-mail from her former law partner, Bob Finley, with whom she practiced at both Clifford Chance and King & Spalding. The email was dated December 27, 2004, shortly after she stopped working in order to move with me to France. On a side note, Bob came to our wedding a little over six months after he sent this e-mail, and I seem to recall that he spent half of the reception congratulating Pegs and the other half trying to find out when she planned to move back to the US....

From: Bob Finley

Date: December 27, 2004

Subject: You

It has been an absolute pleasure for me to have had the opportunity to work with you these past few years. You are an extraordinary talent and person. You are, of course, very smart and capable. More importantly, you care about your work, are eager to learn and grow and really value doing a good job. Your efforts really helped me to develop my relationship with GE. I can't tell you how important your contribution was.

I know that you'll succeed in whatever you do. I hope you stick with law as you have a real talent.

Give your new life a chance and expect to be freaked out from time to time.

I hope you'll stay in touch and that we get to work together again. Things tend to work out the way they should over time, particularly for those who put effort into what they do.

Thanks again for the wine. Say hello to the French for me.

Sincerely and with my best wishes for you always,

Bob

Mucho gusto

Driving Sofia home tonight from Niki's, for no reason at all, I was reminded of something Pegs used to say all the time: "I love you mucho gusto." I'm not really sure how that expression got started or why, but it was something Pegs liked to say, especially to Sofia. I decided to ask Sofia who used to say that, and at first she guessed Papou for some reason, but after she gave it a thought, she burst out, "Mama!" Then she got silent for a second and said, "Daddy, I wish Mama were alive forever and ever." I do, too.

Cashew Curry Chicken Recipe

Yes, this is what it should look like.

Ok, I have to admit that posting this recipe kind of makes me feel like some sort of scientist from the 50s giving away super-classified nuclear secrets to the Soviets. Except that would obligate all of you to speak to me with heavy Russian accents, and then I would have to wear a lab coat with a slide rule in the front pocket, and I remember from middle school what happens to kids who do that. In any event, this is one of my all-time favorite recipes of Pegs': cashew curry chicken. This stuff is like curried crack; I still can't understand how a nation that can create food this good can have so many politicians willing to go on hunger strikes. Whenever Pegs wanted to get on my good side (yeah, I remember that ... day) or give me a special treat for dinner, she would make this dish. She would usually double the sauce portion, which is just one of the many reasons why I loved her. Another great thing about this dish is that you really can't make it too spicy, unless my French cousin Sidonie is coming over for dinner, in which case you should only put in 1/4 of the cayenne; by the way, you should fully expect her to sweat profusely and turn purple after a single bite while I loudly grouse about how bland it is. The one cardinal rule you must follow is Pegs' note about replacing the yogurt with coconut milk (it makes all the difference), but otherwise feel free to experiment, especially with the seasonings. Oh, and don't worry if it comes out looking like a novelty fake vomit kit exploded in your pan; that's what it's supposed to look like (see pic at right). Make the jump below to access a scanned copy of the hand-marked directions from Pegs' recipe book, and I hope you enjoy!

Pre-Zip Lining Video

I thought you all might enjoy another video from Pegs' zip lining tour. Since we showed up bright and early that morning, we had some time to kill while we waited for the other canopy tourists to show up. Pegs decided to document our downtime by turning the camera on me and Damien and asking us a bunch of questions. The video includes a number of inside jokes between me, Pegs and Damien (including one of Pegs' favorite Damienisms, the always appropriate "That's funny to me."). As you can tell from the video, Pegs was clearly enjoying herself that morning.

Bonus: If you'd like to see footage of Sofia saying an obligatory "Wheeee" as per our conversation, click this link.

I Remember When...: Pegs Went Zip Lining

Costa Rica, March 30, 2011

After she got her first cancer diagnosis, Pegs decided to make a lot of lifestyle changes: cutting out sugars and processed foods, limiting her use of and contact with chemical products, reducing stress, etc. She even considered getting a tattoo, which was something she had never been interested in before; she later liked to joke that she had all the tattoos she needed after she got her radiation treatment markers (little permanent dots they put on to indicate where the radiation needs to be delivered each session). After her first recurrence, she was more determined than ever to implement positive lifestyle changes, and that included being open to new experiences. Little did she know that she would get an opportunity while we were in Costa Rica for Vanessa's wedding to have a new life experience that many consider thrilling, dangerous and/or nauseating. No, I'm not talking eating about the local cuisine; I'm talking about zip lining.

I Remember When... Panagiota Was Preggers

Loutsa, Sept. 3, 2007

As a number of you already know, Pegs had a pretty difficult pregnancy. She liked to joke that she didn't suffer from any of the typical problems associated with pregnancy (hemorrhoids, constipation, cravings), but she got all of the rare and esoteric ones. For example, whenever she ate anything with sugar (including natural sugars like fructose) she would swell up like a balloon. Her ob/gyn later theorized from her collective symptoms that she might be allergic to progesterone, which is one of the hormones that the body produces in large quantities during pregnancy to promote gestation. As you can imagine, being allergic to the very hormones your body is producing can make daily life a little challenging, but Pegs so looked forward to being a mother that she more than happily accepted these inconveniences as a small price to pay for the ultimate reward.

(Click on the link below to read more)

An e-mail from Joel Rubin

Sent: Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Hey Derek,

Today Facebook recommended that I become friends with Pegs.  I clicked through to her page, then saw that there was a link to [the] blog as well.  Reading it, I suddenly realized that she's passed away.  I know you and I had talked this summer, and I just saw Damien a week or so ago, but I still didn't know about your family's loss until today.

Even after our talk, I was still shocked to read her blog this afternoon.  I only ever met her twice, I think - once at your wedding, and again in Paris - but she was so warm, so friendly, so funny, and so full of life.  I'll always remember the wonderful afternoon we spent with her, Lee and Sofia at their place in Paris.  She made me feel so welcome, and the food was, as is expected at any Vanderpool-related event, delicious. 

I know this is coming somewhat late, but my thoughts are with you, your family, and Pegs right now. 

Joel