Sofia's Birthday

Paris; November 8, 2009

Yesterday was Sofia's birthday, which was incredibly bittersweet for all of us. Sofia was very excited to be turning four and getting presents, obviously, but I think each of us felt Pegs' absence. We had cake and opened presents last night at Nik and Young's house, after which Sofia stayed as part of her "birthday sleepover." This morning, since I didn't have to take Sofia to school, I spent some time before work looking at photos and videos from Sofia's earlier birthdays. To mark the occasion (albeit a bit belatedly), I decided to upload a few videos from Sofia's second birthday (make the jump below to access them). You might recognize some of these from The Alexanderpools, but the others are "new" to the web. You'll note that Pegs' hair was coming back in following her chemo treatments, which had ended not long before. One year after these videos were taken, Pegs was diagnosed with her first recurrence. Less than one year after that, she passed away.

I know that I should be focused on Sofia's happiness surrounding her birthday and making sure that she continues to live her life as fully as possible, but I can't help but feel angry at how cheated Pegs was not to be able to be with us. And how cheated Sofia is for the same reason. It just makes me ... very mad that something like this could happen. And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put my fist through a wall, eat some leftover birthday cake and hug my daughter just a little too tight. And not necessarily in that order.