An e-mail from a law school classmate

My name is Jennifer Owen (Walsh), and I went to law school with Peggy. For years, I've been Googling her name- and of course I had misspelled it all along, and was not able to find out whatever happened to her after Villanova. I found her memorial page just now, and my heart is breaking. My heart is breaking for her family- her husband, and especially her precious daughter. Although we weren't close in law school (I guess we both weren't very social) I had always admired Peggy. She was simply brilliant, gorgeous, yet so very humble. She graduated at the very top of our class, but you'd never know it if you met her. She had that sweet, shy smile- she was quiet, but when she spoke, she was so introspective, thoughtful, and kind. I'm still in disbelief. I'm sorry to bother you all, but as you know Peggy touched so many people. I always knew she'd be destined for greatness- I guess she was too great for this world. May she rest in peace. I miss you, Peggy.

Susan G. Komen 3-Day

Pegs' sister, Nik, asked that I let you know that she'll be walking 60 miles over the course of three days (October 5, 6, and 7) for an event called the Susan G. Komen 3-Day™. Net proceeds from the 3-Day support ground-breaking research and scientific programs, as well as grants for education, screening and treatment programs at both the national and local level in an effort to eradicate breast cancer. 

Please show Nik your support by making a donation in memory of Pegs.  To make a donation, go to The3Day.org, click on "Donate" and search for Nik's personal fundraising page under the name "Nikoleta Alexandropoulos".  Nik's goal is to raise $2,300; with your help, I'm confident we can get there.  Click here to visit Nik's personal page. 

Thanks to everyone in advance, and be sure to let me know if you or someone you know is participating in an event near you so I can help spread the word.

Pegs' Birthday

As a lot of you know, it was Pegs' birthday today, her 36th. When I got to the office this morning I had already received a number of e-mails and Facebook posts expressing birthday greetings and well-wishes, and they continued to come in throughout the day. Thanks so much to everyone who wrote, called, texted, posted or otherwise took a moment of your day to think about Pegs.

When Pegs and I first met, she told me that she wasn't particularly big on birthdays. She said that name days were more important in her family, as were religious holidays; birthdays were typically a more muted affair. But in 2009, as Pegs was finishing up her first series of chemotherapy treatments, she told me that she wanted a big party for her birthday that year: lots of friends, food, drinks ... the works.  Unfortunately, she didn't express this desire until her birthday was already upon us, a moment when I was coming home from the office well past midnight every night.  Fortunately, Pegs' friend Brooke swooped in to the rescue and helped me find a great venue: a rooftop apartment with a fantastic view of the Eiffel Tower.  I booked a caterer, bought a bunch of booze and invited all of our anglophone friends in Paris, and in short order we had ourselves a birthday party.  It might just have been the champagne, but as I recall everyone had a great time, especially Pegs.  It was so wonderful to see her happy that night after all she had been through; she was surrounded by people she loved and who loved her, and she was able to forget about all of her worries and just enjoy herself for the first time in a long while.  For those of you who were there, thank you so much for helping to make that night so special; for those who couldn't be there, I hope that you can appreciate how happy Pegs was in the pictures below.  Happy birthday, my love.

Mother's Day / Susan G. Komen Race

Today was Mother's Day in the US, which was a somewhat bittersweet event in the Alexanderpool household. I started the day by participating in the Susan G. Komen Philadelphia chapter's Race for the Cure event, a 5k run dedicated to raising funds for breast cancer research and women's health care initiatives with all proceeds going to Delaware Valley-area institutions. Pegs and I ran the same race when we first arrived in 2010, so to say that it brought back a number of memories would be a bit of an understatement. There were an estimated 45,000 participants this year, many of them wearing pink tags indicating that they were racing in celebration of or in memory of someone. I saw a number of women who were clearly either undergoing treatment or just recovering from it, most of them surrounded by their friends and loved ones running with them. I was happy to support the event and celebrate the fight that so many of these women were clearly winning, but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't also somewhat angry (or at least embittered) that Panagiota wasn't one of them. I found myself at the very front of the crowd of runners, and when the starting gun was fired, I took off much faster than my usual jogging pace. I was running almost recklessly, as if I wanted to get away from a guilty sense of resentment towards the happy survivors, when I saw Sofia on the side of the road with Yia Yia, Papou, Nik, Young, Alex and Eva. In a split second I remembered why I was really running, and a quick high-five from Sofia drove me to continue at the same pace through the rest of the course: not out of a sense of anger and frustration, but out of a sense of hope, love and concern for those who loved and were loved by Pegs. When I met up with everyone after the race, I asked Sofia if she knew why I had run in the race; she thought about it for a second before replying, "You ran to win, Daddy." I did indeed, and I think I could say the same for everyone who participated today. Happy Mother's Day, Pegs; we miss you.

View of the crowd at the race; May 13, 2012

After the race; May 13, 2012

Why I ran today; May 13, 2012

Why I'll continue to run; May 13, 2012

Christmas Recipes

Paris; 13 December 2008

The Christmas holidays are long since over and we just wrapped up Easter (both Greek and regular), but since I organized all of Pegs' recipes into an album a while back I thought I should share these with you to help keep up the holiday spirit. I can only remember one time when she made the sugar cookie recipe (see picture at right), for a pre-Christmas party in 2008. Derek and Ariel were living in Paris at the time, and we invited them and our friends Brooke and Dave (and of course, their son Felix) to come over and drink mulled wine, eat sugar cookies and make paper snowflakes. If memory serves, Pegs was dissatisfied with how the cookies turned out (even though they were absolutely delicious), and everyone enjoyed the mulled wine immensely.

Paris; 13 December 2008

Paris; 13 December 2008

Paris; 13 December 2008

Click the link below to check out the recipes for Pegs' sugar cookies and mulled wine.

Easter and gardening

Below are a few videos from Easter 2011. Pegs was filming, but you can hear her talking about all of the things we needed to do in the garden while I "egged" Sofia on.  Sorry; I couldn't resist.  In one of the videos you can see all of the tulips that we planted earlier that spring. I've also attached some pictures of the garden, which Pegs loved so much, including the tulip bed.

Japanese magnolia, daffodils and day lilies we planted near the garage.

One of the dogwoods in front of the house.

Yellow tulips in the front bed.

The rest of the tulips in the front bed.

View of the vegetable garden and the pear and apple trees behind them.

Senior Yearbook Pictures

Rachna Patel was kind enough to send us some pictures from Panagiota's senior yearbook. High school is a difficult time for a lot of kids, and I know that Panagiota was no exception, but she may have been more fortunate than most to have come out of it with such strong and enduring friendships. I don't know many people who would want to fly from New York to Sacramento for a high school friend's wedding, or from anywhere to Omaha (with no offense to Steve Bishara or Warren Buffet) to visit a high school friend just to say hi. Panagiota may not have made friends easily, but she certainly made them for life.

Christmas Memories

Croix; April 26, 2008

Posted (belatedly) on behalf of Ingrid (Malfait) Guilbaud: 

I remember very well when both Pegs and I announced to the family that we were pregnant. It was at Patricia's place, where we met for one of our traditional family lunches. After a while Lee told me: congratulations for your pregnancy, we are so happy we decided to do the same! 

Although the due dates were quite different (early Nov and early Dec), Sofia decided to come to life a bit earlier than expected, and only 5 days after Louise. 

It was such a wonderful perspective to have these two cousins so close in age. Pegs and I were looking forward to see them playing together (we still have to fulfill this wish, Lee!). Thanks to our regular meetings in Lille, we were able to see them growing and changing, comparing the sizes (that was quite easy) and exchanging tricks on best ways to make them sleep full nights. As you see in the picture at right, only our beloved Bon Papa was kind (and open minded!) enough to let us change baby diapers on his own bed! 

Pegs was always adorable with Louise, playing with her, offering us to take care of her while we were eating at the restaurant at Bon Papa's place. 

If you ask Antoine about what Pegs makes him think about, quickly the word food will come in the conversation. One day we were invited in at the very last minute (about a few hours before) with some friends of ours at Lee and Pegs' and she cooked a wonderful roasted chicken. It would have taken me one week to think about it, get the ingredients and several hours to prepare it! 

I also remember that for one of the Christmases we spent in Bondues, she prepared food gifts for each of us that she made herself and presented in very nice packages. I thought it was such a nice idea to put part of yourself in Christmas gifts....as we are celebrating Christmas today, I will have a special thought about this moment in Pegs' memory. 

Click on the link below to see pictures of Pegs and Ingrid pregnant together and videos of Pegs playing with Louise and Sofia. 

Meixes

Sofia has been having a bit of an issue lately with ingesting her ... well, her boogies. I'm sure it's a phase most kids go through, especially in the winter, but the other day when I saw Sofia digging for nasal gold, I was reminded of Pegs' least favorite word: meixes (pron: meek-ses), which is the Greek word for snot, boogers or anything else you might call the stuff that comes out of your nose. I don't know why she had such an aversion to that word in particular; English terms for the same stuff didn't seem to phase her, and I personally saw her wipe Sofia's nose on multiple occasions without being the slightest bit squeamish. But if you said "meixes" around her, she would usually close her eyes and shudder involuntarily a bit before she punched you in the arm. Hard. Go figure.

Movie Snacks

I took Sofia to a movie this weekend, and since it was a late afternoon show I got some snacks so Sofia wouldn't get too hungry before dinner. We were at the concession stand, waiting to place our order, and while looking at the various candies behind the counter I was reminded that Panagiota used to enjoy Swedish Fish. She didn't always get them when we went to the movies; most of the time she wouldn't get anything, and on occasion she would get something else entirely. I always thought it was interesting when she chose Swedish Fish, however, since I don't know of anyone else who actually enjoys them. For some reason, Pegs really used to like them, though. Now that I think about it, maybe it was because she knew that I wouldn't ask her to share them with me. If so, well played, Pegs; well played....

Rice Pudding Recipe

Yia-Yia made rice pudding for dessert tonight, which of course made me think about the time that Pegs inadvertently made the world's best rice pudding. You see, Pegs and I were both big fans of Indian food; one of our favorite places in New York was a nearby Indian restaurant where the take-out portions were about twice the size as the eat-in portions (read: quality leftovers) and the daal was some of the best I've ever had. Needless to say, however, finding quality Indian food in Paris was a bit of a challenge. Efficient as always, Pegs decided that if we couldn't find good Indian food nearby, she would just make it herself. She bought a series of Indian cookbooks and, like a bloodhound hot on the trail of an escaped convict, sniffed out the various areas of Paris where she could purchase ingredients for her various creations.  One morning before I left for work, she told me that she was going to make some kheer (Indian rice pudding) for dessert. I came home that evening to discover a sweet aroma emanating from the kitchen and Pegs anxiously stirring an enormous pot on the kitchen stove.  When I told her that it smelled incredible, she worriedly told me that she was still making the kheer and that something had obviously gone wrong along the way. If you ever ate a meal that Pegs prepared, you'll know that this was nothing unusual; she was always forgetting a key step or ingredient, and yet it almost invariably turned out fine. I wasn't nervous until I took a look inside the pot, where I saw a simmering brown substance that smelled amazing but was decidedly unappealing visually.  If I remember correctly, she had substituted the incorrect amounts of milk and cream for the half-and-half that the recipe called for, so she had tried to correct her error by doubling the entire recipe, requiring the overly-large pot. The recipe said to allow the kheer to simmer for two hours to allow the excess liquid to boil off, but because there was so much of the stuff, Pegs had been simmering for four hours with very little progress. At some point, she had decided to turn up the heat to a full boil, which I suspect had caramelized the milk and resulted in the singular brownish-pink shade of the congealing matter in the pot. I assured Pegs that she shouldn't throw out the entire batch (another habit of hers), and that I would be happy to try her latest culinary endeavor once it had a chance to cool. Thankfully she listened to me, because what we eventually ate that night was decidedly one of the most decadently delicious desserts ever made. Words won't do it justice: it was thick, creamy, caramel-y and all-around yummy.  There was also at least three pounds of the stuff in the fridge, and it took an entire week for the two of us to polish it off, but oh, what a week. I'm fairly certain that I gained at least five pounds over the course of those seven days, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't worth it. Pegs was never able to repeat her error in quite the same way, but maybe that's for the best; after all, some things are too good to ever duplicate. If you'd like to give it a try, though, click on the jump to access the original recipe. If it works out, be sure to give me a call.

The Other Side of the Bed

Paris; 6 July 2005

Sofia came in my room this morning to snuggle a bit before we went for bagels, a Sunday tradition that dates back to our time in Paris when she and I would go for pastries so Pegs could sleep in a bit. I sleep on the left side of the bed, and at one point Sofia crawled all the way to the right-hand side and said, "Daddy, this is Mama's side." It was indeed, but not because Pegs always slept on the right-hand side of the bed. Wherever we went, Pegs always wanted to sleep on the side of the bed that was closest to the bedroom door. When we first moved to Paris, she slept on the left side of the bed; when we changed bedrooms so that Sofia could have her own room, she switched to the right side. In Moorestown the right side of our bed is closest to the door, so she stayed on the right. I think her preference stemmed from a number of sources: at first, it was to be closer to the bathroom, since she often got up in the night. Then, after Sofia was born, she wanted to be close to the bedroom door so she could hear Sofia more easily and respond faster. Finally, I think she found that sleeping on the side closest to the door made it easier to get in and out of bed, and as I've mentioned before, Pegs was nothing if not efficient. Hotels on trips away from Sofia could be a tricky issue, as you might imagine, since the bathroom and bedroom door could be in opposite directions. This could cause a momentary existential dilemma on her part that was entertaining to watch.  Our bedroom door is on the right-hand side, while our bathroom door is to the left. I wondered when we moved in whether Panagiota would hesitate on choosing the right or left side of the bed, but she quickly settled on the right to be closer to Sofia. Offspring apparently trump bladders.

Race for the Cure-- Dallas

I participated in the Race for the Cure last month and walked in memory of Pegs and, our mutual friend, Steve's Mom as well as in celebration of my aunt who was recently diagnosed and is undergoing treatment.  I had participated several times in the past but this year was obviously different. It was the first year I actively raised money (over $900) for Susan G. Komen and the day of the walk itself was incredibly difficult and emotional...I walked by myself knowing this would be the case but there is no place else I would have rather been.  Miss you Pegs~

 

A Call to Arms

Although Breast Cancer Awareness Month is over, there are still a number of ways in which you can support the fight against breast cancer. For example, if you haven't done so already, we encourage you to donate to one of these worthwhile organizations or another group sponsoring research or assisting those afflicted with the disease:

• The Abramson Cancer Center at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania
• The Philadelphia Chapter of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure
• Stand Up 2 Cancer
• Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation

Below is a message from Jennifer Hart, who has been sponsoring breast cancer initiatives in Paris for a while now, most recently in Pegs' name; I'd like to applaud Jennifer for her efforts and to thank her and everyone else who has joined in this struggle:

Hi Lee,

I don't want to bother you but I wanted to share the fruits of some effort here in Paris. I had a fundraising page for breast cancer research for the Odyssea run called ForPegs.  We were away for the Toussaint and during that time the collecte came to an end. The final result was €230 for the Institut de Cancerologie Gustave Roussy.  I know this isn't one of the places you asked people to donate to but I wanted you to know that your wife's memory, legacy and spirit is still motivating people on this side of the pond.  I just mailed them a cheque as well for the bandanas I sold at the breast cancer run.  

Bisous,
Jennifer

I Remember When... We Went to Prague

Prague, August 14, 2006

From Damien Vanderpool:

I perused Pegs’ website while having a few minutes at work today, and I read your story about the chips.  I wanted to post on the site myself, but the firewalls here at work won’t let me, and I wanted to write this now while it’s still vivid in my mind.  The thought of paprika chips reminded me of our visit to the Czech Republic, and 3 things instantly came to my mind:

1. Every neighborhood in Prague had its own manhole cover, and they were all, oddly enough, quite beautiful.
2. The memory of all the statues along that bridge in Prague (a more observant/educated man would know the name of the bridge since it’s so famous, but alas I do not). [Ed. note: The bridge Damien is referring to above is the Charles Bridge, which is one of the most famous sites in the city, lined with 30 statues and offering a beautiful view of the Vltava River]
3. Pegs’ use of the word “guy” when referring to anyone (e.g.-“How’s it going, guy?”).

It is because of that trip (and Pegs’ humor/delivery) that I use that phrase on a regular basis to this day (and this vacation was about 5 or 6 years ago, wasn’t it?).  I think that was probably the first time I got to hang out with Pegs without the whole family there for more than a few minutes.  I had such a great time.  Thanks again for letting me be the 3rd wheel with you guys.

-Damien

p.s.-the memories are flooding in!  I also remember how the castles would have wallpaper that looked like stone, and we would remark on how cheesy it was and odd.

Click on the jump below to see some more pictures.

Ketchup Chips

I picked up a sandwich and a bag of chips in the cafeteria today, and as I was walking out I started talking to a colleague whose husband is Canadian. The conversation turned to the chips I had just purchased (Cool Ranch Doritos), and my colleague mentioned that her husband (who, keep in mind, is Canadian) likes really weird snacks from his childhood like ketchup flavored potato chips. This, of course, reminded me of Pegs, who on more than one occasion demonstrated her love of ketchup flavored chips by wolfing down an entire bag. Pegs wasn't big on processed food as a rule, but one of the things we liked to do when traveling to a foreign country was to visit a convenience store or grocery store and check out the chips section. It always amazed us to discover the flavors that appealed to the local palates, both by home-grown companies and multinationals like Frito Lay. Examples include the ever-popular roasted chicken and thyme flavored chips in France, paprika flavored chips in the Czech Republic and lime-soaked chips in Costa Rica.

Something You May Not Know...: Efficiency

To say that Pegs was an efficient person is like saying that George Lucas has a neck waddle: both give you an idea of what I'm talking about, but don't really convey the scope involved. If you were capable of doing something, odds were that Pegs could do it faster, better and for less money. It took me a while to realize this fact, mostly because she wasn't in the habit of bragging or showing off and I'm relatively clueless, but Pegs was pretty much more capable than I was at everything. Except math. And maybe following directions. Anyway, my point is that if you gave Pegs a task, she would invariably find the most efficient way to get it done and then do it, without procrastination or excuses. Waste frustrated her no end, whether in respect of time, materials or other resources. I was reminded of this when I came across a series of old e-mails between all of the Vandersibs debating what to get my father for his birthday. We all had great ideas about consolidating lots of music files for his new iPod and were trying to figure out what to include, how to include it and who would be responsible for what. Having clearly reached her limit after innumerable missives back and forth, Pegs finally sent an e-mail to everyone involved as follows:

I'm worn out just reading the emails.  How about we get him flowers.  That sounds easy.

If I recall correctly, we got him stargazer lilies.

Accident-Prone Pegs

Paris, November 8, 2008

Rachna's post below inspired me to ask all of you whether you have any good stories about Panagiota getting into accidents, hurting herself or generally being clumsy. Neither of us was particularly coordinated, and we frequently worried that Sofia would grow up with a double dose of awkward genes. [When Sofia knocked out her front tooth last year, I had to wonder whether it was an isolated incident or if it was finally time to get her fitted for a safety helmet.] I can think of a number of occasions in which Pegs was a bit of a klutz, but rather than share a particular story let me just say that she had a very love-hate relationship with our kitchen knives. It must be said that Pegs spent a lot of time in the kitchen and was often distracted by a clingy toddler, but I've never seen anyone with so many nicks, cuts and gouges on her fingers as Pegs. This was especially true whenever she or my father would sharpen our knives, after which I would invariably come home to find Pegs with at least one or two band-aids wrapped around a freshly opened wound. I can't say that Pegs put a lot of her sweat and tears in her meals, but I'm fairly certain that there was a little blood in there on more than one occasion.

Important Life Lessons from Pegs

One morning Pegs walks up to me in high school and here was the exchange:

Pegs: "Hey, do you notice something different?"

Me: "What? Did you get your hair cut?"

Pegs: "Nope" (bats her eyes)

Me: "New makeup?"

Pegs: "No" (closes her eyes)

Me: "Holy crap! What happened to your eyelashes?!?"

Pegs: "I was curling my eyelashes and went to get something from my room and tripped over the hairdryer cord and ripped out half my lashes..."

OUCH!

Its 18 years later and every time I curl my lashes, I remember this story :)

Sweaters from Pegs

When Derek and I first moved to Paris (Fall 2008), Pegs was just finishing cleaning out her closet to get rid of things she hadn't worn in a while, and she very kindly gave me a whole stack of warm sweaters. I became increasingly grateful for them as winter set in, as my California wardrobe was not quite up to a Paris winter.

Last week I got to visit my friend Ginna in North Carolina. When I arrived at her apartment, I realized that we were both wearing hand-me-down sweaters from Pegs! Poor cell phone camera quality notwithstanding, I just had to take a picture. Ginna's is a grey hoodie that Pegs had given me, and that I then gave to Ginna when she visited us in Paris. Mine is a dark red henley. I wear it all the time, and always send a little mental 'thank you' to Pegs when I do.